Don’t Grow Weary in Well-doing
Look, anyone who’s been with the Lord for more than 2 years will be able to tell you how hard it is to be of The Way. For those of us who have been walking with Him longer? It’s no different than at 2 years except that the level of conviction is raised as you realize that, in so many ways, you’re no stronger at 10 years than you were at 2; and that’s a frustrating thing to acknowledge.
For many years I have looked for a calling; my heart being what it is, is drawn to organizations that do nothing but help other people. Whether I’m acknowledged or not is primarily irrelevant. In the end, it’s all about the calling- and in particular, the ONE who CALLS. For me, that is my Father, God the Creator of Heavens and Earth.
So here I am, working 40 hours a week at this organization. Our dream is to get a grant, hire a staff, perhaps get a bigger building and carry on doing better and better work, helping more and more people. In REALITY, we have several projects going in order to obtain these dreams and in the meantime, I (along with the others who devote their time to ), who am supposed to be oh, so mature in the Faith, can think about nothing other than the lack that I live with- lack of money being the the most prevalent issue. It’s really hard to trust God to supply all my needs when I know that we’re broke, the end of the month is more than 2 weeks away and the little bit of food stamps we have retained won’t go that far. Cash is nonexistent. All I can think about on days like today (depth of depression) is there’s GOT to be some way to earn some cash!!! But I check Craigslist, the job boards and while sending out applications and whatnot, am constantly reminded that there are people here at OIM who are COUNTING on me and my fear is of letting them down. Depression is scary to deal with because thoughts that I normally shove to the back of my brain and refuse to think about are so THERE right now that I know that by blogging this, talking my insecurities out and reaching desperately for my Father’s hand is all that is keeping me from doing something that can never be undone.
Galatians 6:9 says, “And let us not grow weary in well doing: for in DUE season, we shall reap, if we faint not”. I wish I knew God’s timing sometimes. Those words are so simple and self explanatory and simultaneously, so hard to accept. Why can’t that be NOW? Why do I have to struggle my whole life? Why do I watch people grow rich all around me when I’ve NEVER asked for riches, only enough to take care of my family so I don’t have to worry about being homeless every month? How can my present situation be any good for anyone? People are not heartened and encouraged by people going through the same muck-n-mire as they are; they are bolstered by those who have been there and are on the other side. That’s what a testimony is!
Ok, so it’s a little later than when I began this blog. I’ve met with my boss, gotten word on what she needs and wants done and, as work tends to be for me, a strong balm to my spirit. It’s always nice to know I’m valued and my employer always makes sure I know I’m needed.
Look, it’s hard being a child of God in this day and age. Hatred and bigotry, sadness and despair seem to be the norm. If you’re “normal” AND trusting in God than YOU, my friend, are the oddity. Isaiah 5:20 says this. “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” We are in these days. I find this to be true more and more. And since our conflict in deciding to trust God (who is unseen) rather than what we CAN see is usually fought inwardly, we have to reach out with determination and ever open defiance in order to progress into maturity.
I am blessed to have an avenue to meditate openly. We hear complaining about the United States all the time; some of us are even guilty of it ourselves- Lord knows I am!- but the reality is that we haven’t gotten so far into evil YET that there’s no option for speaking out against the evil in the world; the voices that stress that if you’re not happy, not at peace, take this medication or that medication to, in essence, turn you into a zombie rather than deal with your own MAN OF SIN. Therefore, I want to take this opportunity to say the following: if you love God, trust in Him. If you have concerns and pains, don’t hide them- talk to HIM about them. He can be awfully silent- no one knows that better than I do- but in the end, it’s who you know and if you know the Lord- have taken that step to ask Jesus to forgive your sins and to make your path straight, then trust him no matter what. In the end, the only person who can convince you of anything is Him. You’re either saved or you’re not. If you worry about it, then you probably are because otherwise you wouldn’t care one way or the other. And don’t be afraid to talk to God as though he were right there- He is. He might be silent but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t hear- or that He doesn’t care. I assure you, He certainly does. But it’s up to YOU to determine that, because I can assure, stress, punctuate, all day but unless YOU have that relationship with your Father, you will never know for sure. I ask God, the Father, through the name of His son, Jesus the Christ, to maintain your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus and to give you comfort where you need it; encouragement to stay on the Straight and the Narrow path and to be strong enough to withstand the fiery darts of the evil one who will stop at nothing to throw your walk off with the Lord. If he can’t have YOU- he’ll throw crap in your way to make you stumble and though he’s not omnipresent like God is, he STILL knows you very well because our issues come from within and he knows EXACTLY what buttons to push!
Posted on June 17, 2013, in Fundraisers, Societal Problems, Volunteers and tagged America, Christ, Christ Jesus, Craigslist, God, God the Father, Jesus, Lord, Nonprofit, United States. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.